FRAU GOERING'S ADVICE COLUMN - "TELL IT TO HERMANN"
“Whenever I hear the word culture, I reach for my Browning!”
Ja! This is my saying of the week - of course from my husband Hermann! Oh how I loved him!
Since this is my first column, for this paper, I wanted to explain why we are here. We think that Tea Party women are often ignored by the truly macho males in the American Tea Party. Since most of the Tea Party ideas have been stolen from Adolf, Hermann, Dick Cheney and others, we felt it best to have at least one feature that answer your most private questions. That's it! So here I am - now over 115 years old - still spewing propaganda for the Gestapo and Loving It!
Dear Frau Goering -
I live on the Arizona border on our beaver ranch where we raise and slaughter beavers for warm coats.
The other day a filthy Mexican family sneaked into our hut and just sat there asking for food. The man had a slingshot on him, the woman was just nasty looking - dirty hair - well you know the whole Beaner thing.
Anyway, my question is, should I have killed the entire family or just the father? In the end I chose to poison them all with my Fiesta Frijoles - but doesn't the Tea Party stand for equality? Zara X - AZ, USA!
Dear Zara -
Don't worry liebschen. You did the right thing. It's not that we don't like Mexicans - we do and I just love their hat dancing and tacos. But you must continue to think about White people in AZ. These people are just takers and give nothing. They move in and squat in our colonias. They demand food stamps, and have the nerve to send their "anchor babies" to our schools. Once they are in - they never leave. The Tea Party, and especially Andrew Breitbart teaches us that White people are superior. We can't help that. We didn't force God, Bless Him, to make us "exceptional" but nonetheless we are! So bury them nicely, but far from the house - the stench you know! Tee Hee - Frau Goering
FRAU GOERING'S RECIPE OF THE WEEK!
Preparation:
Combine cabbage, onion, brown sugar, and vinegar in 4 to 4 quart slow cooker. Sprinkle beaver with salt and pepper and brown in heavy German skilllet, about 5-6 minutes total, turning until browned on all sides. Place beaver in slow cooker; cover, and cook on Low for 7-8 hours until beaver registers 160 degrees F. Serves 15 Mexicans and 3 Huge Fat American Nazis!
